The sun, vampires, Gaga and wine.

This blogging thing is dangerously addictive. Here are some thoughts from today.

Don't forget to hit the Like button at the bottom, so I don't feel insecure about writing to nobody. Hey, you could even leave a comment, maybe. Anybody can do it.

Enough marketing, onto the text with relevant pictures.

Okay, the Sun. I don't know how much thought you put into the Sun, but when you think about it, it's pretty freaking amazing.

It's a long, long way away. It takes light a full 8 minutes and 19 seconds to get from the Sun to you. That's an effing long time for light. Yeesh.

It's also really fucking big, and really fucking hot. Its diameter is over 100 times that of the Earth, and it accounts for about 99.86% of the total mass of the solar system (which is more awesome to contemplate when you think about the fact that you, along with everyone else on Earth, are included in the leftover 0.14%). The Sun's surface temperature is over 5, 500 degrees Celsius.

When you look at the Sun (which you shouldn't), you see a medium-sized circle-blob of insane brightness, and you can feel its heat on your skin. This is pretty amazing, considering that it's an incomprehensibly huge ball of unfathomable heat.

Open your mind to the cosmic comparisons, people.

Speaking of the Sun, we all know that vampires burst into flames when exposed to sunlight. Why, then, can they walk around in moonlight, when all it is is reflected sunlight?

Don't give me that petty "because it's reflected and really weak" bullshit. If standard sunlight induces combustion, then I'm pretty sure that moonlight is at least going to increase the chance of developing Vampire Cancer. Duh. Wear moonscreen, Vampy.

Also, what's up with the helplessness of the human race when it comes to vampire attacks? Now I'm only going by what I've seen in movies and read in books, but from what I can tell, vampires only have four weaknesses: stake through the heart, garlic, crucifixes/holy water, and sunlight. I'm not even sure that garlic counts, I think peasants just made that up to boost the failing garlic economy during times of increased vampiristic activity.

In all these films and novels, people live in fear of the night. At nighttime they clutch their holywater, crucifixes, stakes and dubious garlic whilst trembling with mortal fear, and assume that because the Sun's gone down, the sunlight weapon is out of the question. These people are idiots. We live in the 21st century. We built the Large Hadron Collider. I'm pretty sure humans can invent some device to replicate sunlight, even when it's not daytime. Gosh.

Please appreciate the awesome vampire picture, too. I drew that bitch on a lolly bag.

She's a vamp, but she still does a dance. Ooh la la, it's Lady Gaga.

Now I've got no problem with Gaggy. I think she's pretty awesome. She's got some cool ideas and she does some pretty weird-ass stuff that interests me and makes me want to look at her. What I do have a problem with are the masses of idiots who are hopelessly devoted to her, or who think that anything that's a bit left-of-field is just a Gaga rip-off.

It's not, fools.

Gaga just does some wacky shit. When somebody wears a robot suit, a headpiece, or anything with shoulder pads, they're not instantly copying Gaga. Surprisingly enough, people have original ideas of their own. So shut up and stop spamming other pop video clips on YouTube with comments like:

"ZumGGOSHHH cant beleve she got Away wiv dat wat a gaga rip OFF!!!!!

LUV YU GAGA YU R MI HEROxxxxXXXxxxxx"

-BbyPrnzezz69

Gaga's just Madonna all over again anyway, with a more contemporary take. Ooh, I said it.

If you change your wine,

I'm the first in line,

Baby I'm still free,

You can uncork me.

I charge no per-head corkage fee,

I go with fish or maybe calamari.